Seems to me that a Florida Man would love to be eulogized like this.
The legend of the “Florida Man” continues to grow every single day. And just to clarify, it’s not just one man that is known as the Florida Man. It’s instead more of an idea, or a culture if you will, that select, deranged Floridians possess. Most of the time, a man from Florida makes headlines for doing something crazy or ridiculously absurd.
If you are in need of some “Sunshine State” examples, may I direct you to some of the head scratching stories that only seem to come out of the state that’s become known as America’s appendage:
-Florida Man Steals Ambulance & Refuses To Exit Until He’s Finished His Beer
-Florida Man Arrested For Shooting Down Walmart Delivery Drone
-Florida Man Uses Python To Play Tug-Of-War With Crocodile
-Florida Man Catches Wild Boar With His Bare Hands
And let me tell you, that’s really just scratching the surface of Florida Man stories. They are a dime-a-dozen, and somehow, there’s always a steady stream of Florida Man (and Florida Woman) stories coming out of the southern state. Believe it or not, the Florida Man is capable of making headlines from the grave… as we’re seeing with this viral obituary.
Arthur Nixon Bates IV passed away in early March, and his obituary was just recently posted to the Tampa Bay Times. Typically, you’d want your obituary to give readers a glimpse into the good of your life, and what you are leaving behind in death. Whoever penned this particular obituary was either a) not afraid to joke a bit or b) really held some disdain for the deceased Florida man:
“On March 5, 2025 Nick succumbed to a life of drugs, Marlboros, fast women, and Ford Broncos. He is survived by three daughters, none of whom know how they will get by without dad calling to ask for $20 for cigarettes and methadone, one last time.”
That’s the most Florida Man obituary I’ve ever seen in my life.
Sounds to me like Bates lived a rather hard life, and some (or most) of that was arguably self inflicted. There’s a good chance a family member wrote those not-so-pleasant words, but at the very least, a family member likely had to sign off on it. And I’m not sure that “Ford Broncos” really fits in with the other things that were listed (drugs, Marlboros, and fast women).
Something tells me that the three daughters Bates leaves behind aren’t going to miss the phone calls from their father asking for money. To be honest, if it weren’t for some of the positive remarks left as comments on the online obituary, I’d say this Florida man didn’t have as many fans in life as he’s gained since he’s passed on:
“Miss yo man, scrap metal grind just isn’t the same.”
“Can’t call you boring!”
“Pouring out my Busch Light for my boy, Bates.”
“He still owes me 20 bucks.”
“Bates was a true Florida Man!”
RIP Arthur Nixon Bates IV… a true Florida Man indeed.
The post Florida Man’s Wild Obituary Goes Viral: “Succumbed To A Life Of Drugs, Marlboros, Fast Women & Ford Broncos” first appeared on Whiskey Riff.