Macaulay Culkin Wins Halloween With Doppelganger Joe Burrow Costume

Christmas came early for fans of Joe Burrow and the Cincinnati Bengals, or perhaps not soon enough given how nightmarish this season has been. No but really, the link between Burrow and Home Alone legend Macaulay Culkin is undeniable. They are each other's doppelganger, ringer, however you want to phrase it. The history stretches back to Burrow's LSU national championship-winning days. https://twitter.com/VolRumorMill/status/1194254063317245952 But unless I'm mistaken, I don't think we've gotten anything this on the nose about how much alike Joey B. and Macaulay C. look. Culkin is already spreading holiday cheer around Cincinnati in the vein of Halloween by throwing on a Bengals No. 9 jersey, with a super official-looking helmet to top it all off. https://www.instagram.com/culkamania/p/DBw9zAYOZaB/?hl=en All that's missing are the shoulder pads, a flak jacket, and world-class athletic ability. This is the type of viral social media post that will make Bengals fans feel a little less low. We're 3-5. Not making any moves at the trade deadline. Tee Higgins is hobbled again and probably gone after this lost-looking season. Joey Franchise is holding it down, though. Playing like an MVP. Keeping the team in most games despite a breathing biological sieve of a defense. Now that's a scary image to picture in literal terms for Halloween, eh? Joe is too focused on ball to give a damn about Halloween. I'm actually being serious about that. Listen to the man himself. https://twitter.com/FOX19Jeremy/status/1851723942807175341 All that refined sugary candy? Can't be put into Joe's body. He will not accept it. Dude is fully dedicated, locked in, and determined to rescue this season some way, somehow. Couldn't be more thrilled about the professionalism and undeterred focus. If Joe doesn't appreciate the gravity of Culkin's gesture — I bet he will if somebody asks him to directly respond — I certainly do and I'm certain other Bengals fans do as well. And you know what? I don't think it's too early to kick off Christmas Movie Watching SZN with something like Home Alone. Right around now is the time of year when I wrestle with whether The Nightmare Before Christmas counts more as a Halloween or Christmas movie. Either way, my lukewarm to semi-hot take is that it marks the official start of Christmas Movie Watching SZN. What a job Culkin did as a kid carrying those first two Home Alone blockbusters. Daniel Stern as Marv is my favorite character for sure, though. His high-pitched scream when Culkin's mischievous Kevin McCallister places his brother Buzz's pet tarantula on his face. The high-pitched shriek is one of the greatest vocal feats achieved by any actor in history. I challenge any reader to take on the task of matching Stern's pitch in that scene and making your sound into a forceful yelp. I'm convinced nobody can replicate it. I don't know how he did it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnXkMaMz7Ks Also, the musical score in Home Alone is fantastic. Why do I say that? In order to score better on the football field, Joe Burrow is going to have to conduct his orchestra on the level of John Williams in Home Alone and make like Kevin McCallister with some witty/precocious/ingenious schemes to get the Bengals to the playoffs. Thank you kindly, Macaulay Culkin, for reminding the world that Joe looks a lot more like you than he does Elen DeGeneres as some would suggest.