![Waffle House]()
Waffle House can be a magical place where
strangers band together to sing country songs. Where
Valentine's Day proposals light up the room. Where
Daytona 500 champions stumble in for a late-night/early-morning gorge fest with the trophy in hand. Alas, one of the pitfalls of Waffle House's generous 24/7/365 always-open policy is the possibility of getting unruly, hammered, hangry, hateful individuals in the wee hours of the morning.
Back in December,
an ugly scene played out in Oxford, Mississippi:
https://twitter.com/SadOleMissSimp/status/1731345338072486057
...And now? We have ourselves another good ol' fashioned brawl. Unclear where this establishment is located —
I'm seeing Orlando, Florida — but suffice it to say, all manners of debris and humans were soaring and smashing all across the interior.
https://twitter.com/itskillakenz/status/1796812313804021781
My goodness. Where to even start with this? What a feral situation we have on our hands. No matter how inebriated you are, there should be a couple key rules you follow without the slightest deviation when you enter a Waffle House at obscure hours. Here are some these otherwise surely fine folks when sober should live by...
Rule No. 1: If you have drunken beef with somebody and can't hash (brown) it out like civilized humans, take it outside and into the parking lot. Rule No. 2: If and when you do have drunken beef with somebody at a Waffle House, do not let it be with one of the employees. They're staying up super late, alert and ready to serve you and put up with the lack of governor on your voice box volume knob.
Credit to these Waffle House servers and cooks, because they laid down the f*****g law on these clowns. I'm sure they have their share of war stories working there, but damn, to see a plate explode against the wall over by the kitchen? That would freak me the hell out. I'd be frantically punching in 911 on my phone well before that point.
While I wish the bystander(s) and the videographer of this fight would intervene to help protect the workers, it's kind of a tricky pickle to be in. You never know what kind of makeshift (or actual) weapon one of these brawlers could whip out at any given time. On the other hand, there's no guarantee you're not in the crossfire at some point and get hurt on accident.
A wildly underrated part of these stories — and I suspect one of the worst elements in the aftermath — is when the combatants eventually come to the next day. Imagine seeing your idiot self blackout drunk, catalyzing all sorts of mayhem and destruction, and for what!? Come on, y'all. Can't we all just get along and sloppily wolf down our All-Star Specials in peace at 3 a.m?
Guess that's too much to ask for. To all of you precious, kind souls who work at Waffle House, stay ready with your heads on a swivel. We'll all try to be better.
https://twitter.com/GAFollowers/status/1637469727378350080
