Who’s bright idea was the “Grandparents Race?”
Well, as it turns out, someone within the Emerald Downs organization came up with it, and albeit a dangerous event… it’s quite entertaining. The idea is simple: temporarily turn the horse racing track in Auburn, Washington into a venue for those in their later years to see if they’ve still got it.
Why do I have a feeling this event is probably sponsored by the local hospital and orthopedic institute?
Emerald Downs just hosted their “Grandparents Race” for the second time in 2024, and they had enough participants to where they could split the injuries participants into two separate divisions: Grandmas and Grandpas. And that’s all fine and dandy, but are that many people really signing waivers (I’m assuming these older people have to sign a paper saying they are responsible for their own injuries) to race on a dirt track?
The video that’s currently going viral online looks to be from the first annual Grandparents Race at Emerald Downs. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I see both grannies and grandpas competing against each other. I also see plenty of body parts giving out, and old geezers and codgers (using those words with all due respect, of course) falling down to the dirt in immense pain and embarrassment.
Is it kind of sad? You bet. But is it entertaining? Oh yeah.
They have old people racing now like its the Olympics.
pic.twitter.com/OjDj5G77bT
— DramaAlert (@DramaAlert) May 1, 2025
Can I bet on this?
I’d love nothing more than to travel to Emerald Downs and scout the participants of the grandparent race. I’d love to ask questions, see if any participants have stretched since the Clinton Administration, and then place money on the grandparent that I feel the best about. It would probably go down like this:
“I’ve got a real good feeling about the white-haired gentlemen in lane six. He’s wearing doctor-prescribed sneakers, and I like that’s he’s preemptively wearing a knee brace. Give me those odds all day long.”
The 2024 edition of the Grandparent race was just as exciting. Actually, one could say it was twice as enthralling because there were two separate races. Emerald Downs set up the 50-yard-dash and once again invited older individuals to voluntarily suffer ligament damage.
Ernie Hutchinson, 54, was the “Grandpa Division” winner, and when asked if he had prepared for the race even the slightest, he told Emerald Downs no, and that he thought he had pulled both of his hamstrings during the event:
“No! Nothing. I just came a running! I don’t think I could of made it another 50 yards.”
As for the “Grandman Division,” a woman by the name of Alka Klinge took home the title. She had never been to the race track before, and her husband brought her and convinced her to do the race on a whim. She ended up winning the race barefooted:
“I came to the track in a dress and heels and had to go back to the car to change.”
Listen, I’m from Kentucky, and I love everything about the Kentucky Derby… but I think the future of the dirt track sport is Grandparent racing. Just watch this video below of the “Slowest Two Minutes in Sports” and tell me I’m wrong in thinking that. I dare you:
The post This “Grandparents Race” At Washington Horse Track Looks Like It’s Just Asking For Injuries first appeared on Whiskey Riff.