I’m all for being adventurous with food, heck I’ve cooked up some crazy concoctions at all states of sobriety and times of day, but I don’t know if my intoxicated mind could even come up with the abomination that the University of Miami unveiled today.
Miami’s baseball team is hosting Villanova tonight and in an attempt to welcome the Philly team to the 305, they tasked their concessions team with creating something new that will remind the visitors of the City of Brotherly Love.
Well, they certainly created something new, there’s no doubt about that. It incorporates the staple of Philadelphia cuisine too, so on paper they’ve checked a lot of boxes already. The problem with what the concessions crew put out is that it is absolutely, unquestionably, no doubt about it, vile.
The Mark Light Shake Special
Apparently the University of Miami is semi-famous for their Mark Light Shake’s which, according to their Twitter/X bio, are only available at Miami baseball games.
The company offers over 40 flavors of milkshakes, ranging from the typical chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, etc. to some more complex, albeit still normal, mixtures. For example the “Coach L Final Four” is made with strawberry ice cream, strawberry puree, fresh strawberries, and strawberry whipped cream (I love strawberry), the “Jelly Donut” is a raspberry shake with Krispy Kremes, and “The Wizard” is a chocolate shake with Heath bar and fudge. All sound delicious but none are really all that out there.
Here’s their whole menu:
MENU TIME…
1 month until @CanesBaseball
OUR 40th SEASON!!!! @MiamiHurricanes @univmiami @theACC @NCAABaseball pic.twitter.com/b6EKB8d6EQ— Mark Light Shake (@MarkLightShake) January 14, 2025
Lots of delicious options, many of them unique, but certainly nothing all that crazy.
Well, that changes for today’s game, where they will be offering a Mark Light Shake special that you have to see to believe.
The Philly Cheesesteak Shake
Today (and probably today only) Mark Light Shakes is offering a Philly themed special.
It’s Philly cheesesteak milkshake made with vanilla ice cream and vanilla syrup, topped with a mini cheesesteak…
Take a look for yourself and behold this food atrocity:
Miami baseball is playing Villanova today.
Fans in the stands can get the @MarkLightShake special made for the game:
It’s a philly cheesesteak milk shake with vanilla ice cream and vanilla syrup that’s topped with a mini cheesesteak sandwich! pic.twitter.com/qvxrCYs4N3
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) March 5, 2025
THERE’S CHEESE WHIZ IN THE ICE CREAM. WHY IS THERE CHEESE WHIZ IN THE ICE CREAM?!
Admittedly, college me would have tried this because I was an absolute heathen but looking at it now, half a year removed from turning 30, my stomach starts to churn… Who thought of this, or better yet, who gave it the greenlight? I need a report from the ground, is this as bad as I think it is?
Don’t you worry, I’m far from alone in my opinion. Take a look at some of the commentary:
https://t.co/MaDzMcxENT pic.twitter.com/oIGWpMJ77o
— ʙᴏʏᴢ ɪɪ ᴍᴇɴɢ (@henrikmeng) March 5, 2025
https://t.co/oFPnbb3V2Y pic.twitter.com/3yvBcurS3P
— Ramp Capital (@RampCapitalLLC) March 5, 2025
take this product
light it on fire
throw it out
take it out of the garbage
light it on fire again
throw it away for good
call the concessions or marketing team
ask them what in the world they were thinking
throw up for even looking at it https://t.co/7xhIlLclw9— Adam Rosen (@arrosen76) March 5, 2025
https://t.co/aYZN4qOi0e pic.twitter.com/Gbhby7CuFp
— Teddy Cahill (@tedcahill) March 5, 2025
—
katherine
(@heyitskittykatk) March 5, 2025
katherine Lizzo the only one ordering that
— Anytime23 (@Anytime23CCS) March 5, 2025
— Mete Aktaş (@MeteAktas76) March 5, 2025
Even Villanova had to say something…
… Thank you to the good folks at Miami for making us feel right at home, I guess… https://t.co/zNkywyYmYz
— Villanova Baseball (@VUBaseball) March 5, 2025
It’s not the first time a ballpark has taken a swing and miss at a “special item” and it certainly won’t be the last. Remember the “Triple Glazed Donut Chicken Sandwich” in Atlanta? If it wasn’t so absurdly large that one would probably be delicious but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do to make a social media splash these days, right?
If someone happens to read this and is at the Miami-Villanova game tonight, can you please send in a review? I need to know if people are actually buying this, and if you happen to buy it, if it’s any good…
I can’t imagine it is, but hey, I’ve been wrong before.
The post Miami Baseball Unveils A Nightmare Philly-Themed Food Item & Everyone’s Disgusted first appeared on Whiskey Riff.