![Channing Tatum]()
Flag football is coming to the Summer Olympics in 2028 for the first time ever. Since the Games are being held in Los Angeles, where Hollywood dreams come true, I have a radical idea for the ultimate wish fulfillment scenario that came to me during
the Paris closing ceremony: Olympic celebrity flag football stunt cameos.
This won't be offensive to any of the snubbed NFL stars. Since flag football is basically glorified two-hand touch, today's biggest stars can still have opportunities, four, eight or even 12 years down the line if they don't get picked this time around. We have to make this fair to the rest of the participating nations somehow. If y'all think basketball is a cakewalk for Team USA, wait till we get a roster full of NFL players Randy Moss-ing defensive backs from any given country.
https://twitter.com/NFL/status/1820489997666980155
With
only 12 players to each Olympic flag football team in the 5-on-5 format, we'd have to get some special roster exemptions for one or some of these prospective Hollywood stars-turned-players. Even if just one of the 10 names I propose here trotted out onto the field at the Coliseum to become a flag football Olympian, ratings would be through the roof, and we'd be more united than ever as a country. I believe that.
So let's get rolling on this, shall we?
Robbie Amell
REDEMPTION FOR ROBBIE! Robbie Amell was born in Toronto but became a U.S. citizen in 2020. In the criminally underrated coming-of-age comedy
The Duff, Amell plays a high school quarterback whose quirky throwing motion became the stuff of meme legend.
https://twitter.com/Marcus_Mosher/status/1158446359755862018
Haters were relentless and couldn't believe
The Duff's filmmakers couldn't cast somebody better in the role. Amell had to prove in real life that he could, in fact, throw the pigskin pretty damn well. Maybe his motion isn't the most poetic, but not bad for an actor! Dude has some
serious arm strength.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ir-_rfvwJdE
Amell explained that during the filming of the movie, he had to throw the ball, like, five yards away from a producer who was just off-camera. Thus, he couldn't really get a legit throw in, lest he bean the other person in the face.
I would love to see Amell rock the stars and stripes — unless he'd rather rep his native Canada and get annihilated — and make this into a full-blown meta gag.
Tom Cruise
The end of Tom Cruise's X/Twitter bio reads: "Running in movies since 1981." We still have four years or so until the 2028 LA Summer Olympics, by which time Cruise will be 66 years old. Given that he's showing no signs of slowing down on the
Mission: Impossible franchise, I suspect he'll keep himself in peak physical condition until those are done. Cruise has done a great job avoiding injuries over the years for the most part, so I have faith he'd still be healthy in '28.
Here's the most recent footage I can find of Cruise sprinting. Dude is still
rolling.
https://twitter.com/MajorDcp/status/1772350653588766749
And as we saw in the beach football montage in
Top Gun: Maverick, Cruise can still hang with the young guns. Get him out there in the preliminary flag football rounds, train him up with some route-running drills, and I bet Cruise can get at least a couple receptions on the board for Team USA.
Matthew McConaughey
Confession: When you Google things like "Matthew McConaughey running" or "Matthew McConaughey sprinting" it all has to do with speculation about him
running for political office. Frustrating to say the least. Oh well. Our guy McConaughey is a known athlete who loves to break a sweat daily, and the most eye-popping footage of his sprints on screen came all the way back in
Tropic Thunder. We get a brief overhead shot, confirmed to be McConaughey, who sprints away from the villainous clan Flaming Dragon.
https://youtu.be/eSMUN3YJHBg?si=x09GJpcviaaEQpOg&t=384
That movie is home to one of many delightful against-type Tom Cruise performances, by the way. McConaughey would bring the thunder for Team USA. He takes so much pride in representing his University of Texas at Austin Longhorns, and co-owns the MLS team Austin FC. He should still be good enough to get out there in 2028 for a series or so.
John David Washington
Ooh baby. Package deal: John David Washington as honorary Hollywood flag football Olympian, and his father Denzel as honorary (or actual, tbh) assistant coach. John David's college highlights and brief stint with the Rams franchise are proof enough that he'd kill it in the LA Summer Games. Forget me jabbering on any more. Just watch the reel below.
https://twitter.com/NFLMaliik/status/1431805944866828290
Channing Tatum
Little-known fact: Channing Tatum played a year of college football before transitioning to modeling and eventually acting. He missed home while he was playing at West Virginia's Glenville State College, and was only on the field so he could hang onto his scholarship.
If Tatum suited up for the Olympics, he would 100% have to get on a PA loudspeaker and say the following words:
"You know how long I've been waiting for this? Wooimbouttamakeanameformyselfhere!"
We saw Tatum get on the gridiron a while back in
22 Jump Street, where he was Wyatt Russell's go-to wide receiver. I'm assuming Tatum did his own stunts as a ballplayer. Russell wouldn't be a terrible Olympic cameo pick, either, though his athletic background was as a hockey goalie.
https://youtu.be/HUWON_dKbdk?si=OaBRgbdP1_zCOZZZ&t=72
Michael B. Jordan
One of Michael B. Jordan's early breakthrough characters was quarterback Vince Howard on the hit TV show
Friday Night Lights. He's since gone on to star in the
Creed franchise, where he gets into absolutely ridiculous shape. Jordan's athleticism is self-evident, as he sort of lives up to his legendary namesake in that regard. or at least as well as any actor could hope to.
We got a taste of what Jordan looks like in football pads when he caught balls from Eli Manning. Slight twinkle-toes running style aside, he showed off real ball skills, capping the session by climbing the ladder for an Odell-esque touchdown catch. I feel like he'd represent America excellently on the international stage.
https://youtu.be/YkIivnA4P6w?si=U_fSODUCfZUZJb7H&t=361
LeBron James
This is a bit of cheating but I can't help myself. Putting LeBron James in an article that furthers his legend directly after somebody named Michael Jordan? I've never been more proud of myself.
LeBron did star in his own Hollywood movie,
Space Jam: A New Legacy, and has had other appearances in a rather extensive filmography, such as a memorable comedic turn in
Trainwreck alongside Bill Hader. Following MJ in the
Space Jam series didn't pan out so well for LeBron. What I know for a fact is, he could really boost his profile with a Summer Olympics cameo as a flag football receiver/defensive back.
Despite all the mileage on his legs as he prepares for his 22nd NBA season, LeBron is still a true elite athlete who won Olympic MVP in leading the United States to basketball gold in Paris. We have literal flag football evidence of just how dominant he is on a football field. You could argue the rest of these celebrity cameos are unrealistic. When it comes to LeBron, maybe not so much!
https://twitter.com/hoopfiends/status/1717722352656461899
Chris Evans
Straightforward reasoning here. Chris Evans' defining role is Captain America. But additionally, his big break came as quarterback/dumb jock Jake Wyler in
Not Another Teen Movie. We only get a close-up of Evans unleashing an ill-fated touchdown pass to a
Rudy lampooning receiver named Marty, yet I think it's clear Evans has some juice in that arm. His running form as Captain America is famously good, too.
So what if Evans will be in his late 40s by 2028? He'd give us some of that Boston edge and attitude necessary for the gauntlet of Olympic competition.
https://youtu.be/nuPd4L7_0uQ?si=5tzPbGVmS1xjp-4s&t=24
Dwayne Johnson
All you'd have to do with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is toss him out there in a bunch formation, and have him run glorified moving screens. Nobody could get around him, nor would any opponent really want to challenge him. Prior to his massive pro wrestling and acting career, Johnson was a full-on college football player at the University of Miami. You couldn't exactly be a scrub and play for the Canes back in the day.
Given how much of a beast he still is right now at age 52, what's to stop Johnson from still being in that ballpark four years from now? Plus, there'd be ample opportunities for comedic gold. Whether it's still frames of Johnson's massive frame dwarfing an adversarial Olympian, or him "accidentally" getting overzealous and laying someone out, I'd fully endorse Johnson in the Summer Olympics for flag football.
https://twitter.com/accnetwork/status/1521172361780858880
Glen Powell
Wanted to go a little younger here for the last one. Honorable mentions included Miles Teller, Mike Faist, and Brandon Perea. The latter two for their dance backgrounds, and Teller because he, too, was in
Top Gun: Maverick and seems like a pretty good athlete.
I give Glen Powell the nod because he's kind of the "it" guy at the moment in Hollywood. I don't see his trajectory dying any time soon. By 2028, he could be, undeniably, the No. 1 movie star on the planet. Time will tell with that. Another reason: Powell was cast to portray the Eli Manning-originated quarterback character Chad Powers in a new Hulu series.
https://twitter.com/Variety/status/1760761894523031582
If Powell got that gig, he must be decent at football. I know that he played in high school as well. That's good enough for me. He looks decent enough at throwing and catching while tossing the ball with Eli. Why not give him a shot?
https://twitter.com/gpowelldaily/status/1793673533790507224
Only feels appropriate to end with the OG Eli as Chad Powers video. How about we go one step further? Have Eli Manning pull up
in character as Chad Powers for the 2028 Summer Olympics and just dot up everyone as a disguised 47-year-old? That would hysterical.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed this journey with me. I'm convinced this is the best stupid idea I've ever had. Plant the seeds now, hope people come around by 2028.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLhsjH3IBPc
