![Malort]()
NOPE!
I'll speak for all of us when I say that no one has been sitting around as of late and said to themselves, "You know what I could use some more of? Cicadas." For those of us in the heavily infested cicada areas, we're trying to get rid of and move past the devilish bugs as quickly as possible.
But one brewery in Chicago had a different idea. The Noon Whistle Brewing Lombard Brewpub in suburban Chicago saw the cicadas as an opportunity rather than a nuisance, and decided to try their hand in creating a special liquor around the dreaded, red-eyed flying bug.
They took Malört, one of the most disgusting liquors on the face of the Earth, and asked, "How can we make this that much worse?" The answer to that question, or at least the one they went with, was to infuse the Malört with... cicadas.
Noon Whistle Brewing did their best to convince potential customers that this was a good idea in the caption of the below post:
"Prepare yourself for a once-in-a-lifetime experience because starting today, we're thrilled to unveil our exclusive locally harvested Cicada-Infused Malört at Lombard Brewpub!
Believe it or not, the 17-year old virgin cicadas bring a flavor reminiscent of succulent lobster to this insanely delicious concoction. It's a taste you won't find anywhere else, and it's only available once every 17 years!"
https://www.instagram.com/p/C7Oz4gcNB1q/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=a40d2c3c-c4a8-45a9-b8e0-b3c454ccb31d&img_index=1
Lobster? Yeah right...
The only thing they did say there that I can't argue against is the "once every 17 years" portion. Most of the United States is currently experiencing one of the biggest cicada emergences in history. A number of different cicada broods (12 to be exact) have all come out at once, and it's pretty easy to tell if you are in one of the impacted areas. Just go outside and either a) listen for screaming insects off in the distance or b) dodge dive bombing cicadas on your porch.
Or you can travel to Chicago's Noon Whistle Brewing Lombard Brewpub and pay $5 bucks for a Cicada-Infused Malort shot. In my opinion, the brewery itself should be sliding over an "Abraham Lincoln" to people who are interested in trying the nightmare shot. I'm not even sure I'd take a cicada-infused shot for a fiver.
With all due respect Noon Whistle Brewing... someone needs to take your liquor license away.
